Nottingham Confidence Counselling
 Brief Therapy & Counselling People come to Brief Therapy with an enormously diverse range of troubles including stress, depression, anxiety, sleep-problems,substance abuse, relationship difficulties with partners or family.Physical or mental abuse, mental health problems and work-related concerns.
How does Brief Therapy work?
You the client and I, will together, define the problem and determine several measurable goals and objectives designed to resolve the problem. These goals are the focus of the session and are reviewed frequently. Together, we will will determine what for you, the desired outcome will look like. In this way, you will know when the therapy is complete. The emphasis is on the present and future, not on past events. (Although past events may be reviewed to put the current difficulties into context). There is a conscious and conscientious use of time and a frequent review of progress. Ineffective interventions are discarded. Iam actively involved in the therapy sessions, not passive. There is recognition that human change is inevitable with a emphasis on your strength,resources and uniquness.
Substance Abuse or Addictions :
Typical Solution forming questions." What is that strength that stops you drinking more than 1 bottle of Vodka a day instead of 1.5 bottles a day? Have you always had that ability to take control or is this something you have built? What would you be doing right, if your consumption was reduced to three quarters of a bottle?" Brief Therapy asks empowering questions, assisting the client to recognise their strengths, abilities and resources.These resources fuel the solutions. Solutions are how we progress, and leave the past behind.
Relationships:
Q: "When you had those peaceful 4 good hours with your partner, what were you doing right that allowed you to enjoy yourselves? What did you see different about your partner that you liked. What difference do you think your partner saw in you, for him/her to know you were enjoying yourself? What would you do different that would allow 5 hours…6hours…..a week etc. How would you make that happen?" Confidence:
Q: "You say you are very shy, but what is that courage that gets you into work everyday? Have you always had that ability get through difficult situations, or is this something you developed? If on a 1-9 scale measuring confidence, you say you are near the bottom at 2, what then are those abilities and strengths that stop you going down to 1? Have you ever been higher than 2? What was different about you, what were you doing different? What number would you like to aim for? 8! So, who would recognise the difference in you? What would you think differently about your self etc etc."
Brief Therapy is uplifting because of the sense of empowerment and hope that is engendered. It does help you see some light through the dark. It also draws in the participation and enthusiasm of the therapist, as it is hard to ignore the Clients development and inspiration as they connect to their own resources, abilities and solutions.
Finding solutions is a creative process that raises us out of the problem or redundant programming, and towards the best and latent in ourselves.
It is Brief, as the Client or sessions aren’t held down by the fog and boundaries of the problem, but experience a clearer view about their life and direction What will happen in the sessions?You will find your background noises and senses coming to the surface. You will find that you are able to define and describe and make sense of what had only seemed vague before. You will find that what seemed awkward or embarrassing to talk about loses its hold on you, and sharing yourself gets easier. You will find that somehow, this makes you feel lighter, and you want more. You will find that change may be on the other side of barriers that you have developed, but you will be encouraged and helped to climb that wall. You will find all of this challenging, but equalled by the sense of liberation this gives you. What I won’t do is: give you answer`s, tell you what to do, or punish you. Care to find out and give it a try?
Counselling for the 21st Century!
A quick history. Over 8200 counselling hours. Almost 6000 hours working for 3 NHS PCT`s. Over 1200 clients. In 1998 chosen by East Herts NHS PCT to compare my Counselling against Harlow Psychiatric Hospital (Largest Psychiatric Hospital in Hertfordshire). My Counselling was seen to be more effective, cheaper, with less waiting time. Thank you East Herts PCT for your willingness to look and go out side the box. I moved to Nottingham from London in 2004.
From 1964 to 1975, a young man thing experimenting with drugs, Asia etc. Since 1975 increasing interest in Human Psychology and Development.
Come for a journey
Let’s look at counselling. You are the world’s expert in you, and I am the world’s expert on me! 6 billion separate fingerprints, must say something about each one of us being individually unique.
(Have some patience here)You, I, everything in the universe are built from Atoms. When we see something or touch something, it’s the denser end of a Atom. Inside its electrical and unseen. We are built the same way! You see the outside of me, and I see the outside of you. Just as Scientists peel back the layers of an Atom and discover increasing fineness and potency, so we are the same. There is what you think the issue is, but as soon as we go deeper and try to define the issue, we discover that the real issue is not what we first thought! Our conscious is the outside, Semi conscious (the foreman) and our unconscious. The unconconsious is like a warehouse. It has in its memory, the first sound you heard, the first smell etc. It knows you better than you know yourself (Conscious) your strengths, weakness, what’s good for you, what’s bad for you etc etc. (Are you still here? just a bit more). So this is you. Our unconscious sends us messages, but the difficulty is in translating what it is saying. For example, our unconscious knows if anything is wrong with our health. Invariably because we aren’t taught to listen to ourselves, or it feels uncomfortable to heed these messages, the illness, or problem turns up! My job is to hold a mirror to you, so that you can peel back the layers of you. It’s like a fog. Nothing in the Counselling room will appear, that you somehow didn’t know already, the only difference, is that in the Counselling room you cant escape, and its harder to put under the carpet!
Our best friend Mrs Psychology!
We aren’t born with a Psychology, we develop it. Every time we do things in our habitual way, (from history) we thicken that Psychology. So our Psychology thinks that’s what we want, and gives us more...Isn’t that nice of it…what a good friend. Except that if we carry on in the same old way, and then want to change, but don’t, or give up half way, then our good friend Mrs Psychology gets the message that you want to keep things the same..in other words the Psychology builds up a investment over the years, that change is uncomfortable, difficult etc so it ends up having a investment in you doing the same old things, in the same old way, and keeping things as they are. You, me, Businesses, Governments, Religions all can create this kind of Psychology.
So we stay in a box, and end up thinking that’s who we are, and that’s all there is!!!
Well its not! Outside the box is waiting for all, the question is do we stay the same, or do we believe in or dare for a solution or better future?
A quick survey. If 100 means you reaching your full potential, and 1 means the minimum, where would you locate your self?
As you can see, I like using number grids, the reason, is that us humans measure things by comparison.
For those who may be a bit negative about themselves or situation…..If TEN means good and ZERO is rock bottom(the end!) you may say that you are at 1 on that grid.. The question then is:
What am I doing right to stop things getting worse(0 means the end) A example could be that you title yourself as a alcoholic, drinking ONE bottle of whisky a day…so what are you doing right that stops you drinking a bottle and half? Try this grading example to issues in your own life, and you may see that how ever difficult things may be, somehow there is something in you that gives you some control. So what is that quality of yours that regardless, keeps you still trying?
A Depression Dabble.
So where to start. So many different kinds of depression. Plus, the modern world likes to put labels on things. First, depression has to be a barometer of some kind. Without that how would we know things are not right? Hey, hate to say it, but it could be a friend! It lets us know that something needs to change. Make the change and the depression goes. Reasonable?
Change.
Change our thinking and different actions follow. Change our actions and the thinking changes. This is the basis of most ‘Talking’ therapies. Our lives are a good example of this. That’s how we have resulted in the way that we are. Except, that our programming tends to of got formed up in the first 10 years of our lives, before we had much choice in the decision making process. So just like computers, we are talking about reprogramming. One of the great miracles of the human design, is that we may of lived out a programming for say 30 years, but how when something good happens, like love, promotion, a holiday,inspiration, just for a moment we can override the old programme. In other words, something more powerful overrides our habitual response. So a window of opportunity opens, but can close very quickly, unless some change takes place. Good therapy can help induce that state, but the real work starts the moment the session finishes!
Asking for support! Especially for us men. In a radio interview with the Director of the Samaritans in 2002, the Director said ` A phenomena has happened in the past 5 years. In 1996, 93% of all calls came from Females, but in the past 5 years something odd has occurred, and last year(2001) 48% of all calls came from men’
Simple Success Stories. A "Bored" mother and tranquiliser user. Now drug free, and in a Degree Course.
Long term unemployed single man, now in his career choice and married. A man "sexually dysfunctional" and now a father in a satisfying relationship. Anorexic single women on medication, now in control of her life and engaged. A man "sexually dysfunctional" and now a father in a satisfying relationship. Anorexic single women on medication, now in control of her life and engaged.
Questions you may want to ask |
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